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killer shrike from work
Thu May 26, 2005 at 09:56:25 am EDT
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More "Adventures of Alcheman #20"
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The Adventures of Alcheman #20 Continues



“Odd Couples”



Previously: Everybody’s favorite pyrokinetic JD is being forced by her sister and legal guardian to attend classes at the tony private school Hogan Academy, which is in fact the current workplace of Alcheman (who received his powers after being tattooed by the skin artist known as Ivan Strode) and the former workplace of off-the-radar character Evelyn Calliope, who has been transformed into nut job character Penny Blood. The fact I am mentioning those last two people again after eight or so stories should clue you in on who will be guest starring in this piece, right?


“Come on out, Kerry,” Sarah Shepherdson urged her younger sister.

The stall door banged open, and there stood Kerry in her new school uniform.

“Kill me now,” the teenager begged.

“I think you look great,” Shep said, endorsing the deep maroon blazer and knee-length pleated skirt, “Very studious.”

“This is one step away from wearing a burqa!”

“Ooh, nice cross-cultural reference; you sound smarter already,” Sarah went to her sister and began adjusting her bangs, “I knew having you attend Hogan Academy was a good idea.”

Kerry stared in disapproval into the bathroom mirror, “I’m dressed like Asil.”

Her older sister finished her primping, smoothing back the Probability Arsonist’s loose strands of hair and catching them in a scrunchie that matched the Hogan skirt. Srarah held her sister at arm’s length and looked her over, “There we go: my little preppie.”

Kerry did not warm to the designation, “You know as soon as you and Dorkface leave here I am going to cause such a ruckus that the school will expel me? Oh, and have to close for serious structural renovations.”

“You will do nothing of the sort,” Sarah said gravely, “and no powers, Kerry.”

“Or?”

“Or I shall be very cross,” she answered with a smile before turning serious once again, “This is important, Kerry. I know you’re mad at me and Vizh for enrolling you at Hogan, and maybe you’re a little intimidated as well-“

“Ha!” Kerry scoffed as she rummaged through her knapsack.

“-but you need to succeed here, OK? You can do that, can’t you?”

Kerry Shepherdson was slightly perplexed by the amount of earnestness in her sister’s voice, but she managed to conceal it. Withdrawing a set of shears from her schoolbag, she bent down and cut a long, revealing slit in her kilt. Giving Sarah a confident grin, she responded, “Whatever. Before school let’s out I’ll be running this place.”

*****


Ivan Strode didn’t know what the thing creeping into his studio was, but it became obvious after blasting its head off the creature didn’t need major organs to survive: the bloodied torso dropped down from the transom and continued to skitter towards the tattooist.

“Sonuva-!” Ivan cursed as he popped another pair of shells into his shotgun. He got the weapon up and fired in time to catch his chitinous attacker in its thorax.

The creature was knocked backwards; a pulpy mess. Still, it took three more volleys from the scattergun before its segmented arms stopped waving and it laid still.

Strode did not waste any time. He gathered his needles and vials of ink, a pair of revolvers, and his scrying tools into a rucksack and bolted.

There was only one place to go now, if he had any hope of being safe.

*****


“Cockney Roach is dead,” Penny Blood fretted, “I felt him die.”

The young lady with the coal black hair and alabaster skin stared out the atrium window and into her garden. The Hangmaiden’s Hair seemed to beckon for her as the gale pushed through its lush, thick expanse.

There was the sound of creaking hinges behind Penny as Roll-top Desk Lass shook her drawers in sympathy, “What to do? What to do?”

The Diva of Deviance picked a quill pen off her secretary.

“Write a new one, silly.”

Then Penny Blood bit through her lip for the necessary ink.

*****


Ray Ivison was staring at the classroom ceiling when Michael walked in.

“You, uh, have no automatic sprinklers,” he observed.

Michael dropped his shaving kit into his filing cabinet, “Well, no.”

“Hm,” the man in the yellow topcoat continued his inspection, moving over to where the room’s evacuation route was displayed in a spot not as prominent he would have liked, “How often does the school have fire drills?”

He wasn’t exactly sure, but Michael gave an answer he hoped would placate the decidedly strange gentleman, “Third Tuesday of every month.”

“Third Tuesday?!” Ivison echoed, “That’s a bit lax, don’t you think?”

“Well I-“

“In this day and age, with, um, terrorists, and random acts of spontaneous combustion on the rise, its important to be prepared.”

Michael nodded, “Forewarned is forearmed. Mr. Ivison, do you mind if I make an observation?”

“Not at all.”

“It’s obvious by the day’s earlier incident and your concerns about school safety that there is a strong bond among your family.”

“I suppose a person could see it that way,” Miss Shepherdson’s guardian agreed conditionally.

“What I mean by that is, we at Hogan work to promote a positive classroom environment, where each students needs are met to allow them to fully maximize their potential. That includes making sure they are safe,” Michael gave the man a charitable, knowing smile.

“Wait: you think I’m worried about Kerry’s safety?” Visionary checked.

“Er, that was my point, yes.”

The possibly fake man debated internally whether or not to inform this obviously oblivious man what he was in for. He decided that subtlety was the better way to go:

“So, when was the last time the fire extinguishers were inspected?” he inquired in his most non-chalant tone.

“Here we are,” Sarah announced as she ushered Kerry into the classroom, “Do we get a gold star for being early?”

The time reference made Michael check his watch; three minutes to homeroom, “Well, I can give you both copies of the course syllabus before you leave. And assign Miss Shepherson her textbooks.”

“Great,” Sarah turned and gave her sister one last hug for luck (and to pat her down for any concealed accelerants, “Wow them with your talent, kiddo.”

“Right,” Kerry scowled.

“Don’t forget how important this is.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m counting on you getting a good education so you’ll be able to take care of Ray in his old age.”

A quizzical expression crossed the teen’s face, “Who?!”

“Ray. You know,” Shep serreptiously nudged her sister in the ribs, “Your guardian.”

Kerry glared over to where her guardian awkwardly stood, “Oh, yeah. I’ll be taking care of him.”

Visionary managed a weak smile.

Then the bell sounded.


Next: The decompression continues as we see Kerry’s first day of school and learn how Michael gets a new roommate. Out at some point.












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